IMPRINTS ON THE HEART.

 'If you have come to help me you are wasting my time. But if you have come because you liberation is bound up with mine, then let us walk together'
 Lila Watson, Australian Aboriginal Leader
For the two months I have been contemplating the last year and a half I spent in Goa.  I have returned for now, I dare not say for good, you never know!  And so, digesting every moment and every memory of Goa has been quite a process.  Some of that process will continue and last a lifetime as the realisation of what I have learnt in that time hits home or better still, is used in where I find myself now. One thing that inspires me daily is the understanding that through the love that I have towards those I worked with and was honoured to know in Goa, my role is not over.  God has shown me through my own aching heart how much more He must love them.  I must use the love He has blessed me with and in the overflow, continue to share His compassion for them with others, in order to support the people and the projects. 

If you can imagine the joy that you feel when you see a friend or relative after a long time or perhaps imagine the warmth when you see their smiling face in a photo.  Every single one of these faces below fills me with that same warmth, one after the other, and they are not even all there! The photos come to life in my memories and with them my heart smiles a little more each time.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” -C.S. Lewis (Four Loves)

I have been blessed.  My heart aches for these kids.  I have been blessed.

ENDURING LOVE

I found this unedited text in my drafts.  I think I'd wanted to express something that I could not put into words...

This morning, as I was riding my bike through a palm tree laden road with the sun beating down on my back, realising that my fuel tank was almost empty... these two words entered my head. ENDURING LOVE.

I am not perfect.  I do not have a perfect life.  I make mistakes.  I hurt people.  I screw up over and over again.  In short, I struggle.  Sometimes I wonder why anyone would love me... when I mess up all the time. 

I think that at times its so easy to pick out the weakness and faults in others, but recently I have found that everytime those thoughts creep like a spider into my mind and try to make their web in my heart I cannot entertain them because the enduring love of Jesus Christ is such a reality in my life.  When you know how much someone will fight for you and love you, how much they long to be with you, and when you mess up they turn to you and say, 'it's alright, I still love you'.  The way you look at others changes, the way you perhaps judged them for their faults before becomes a yearning to see them fulfil their potential and understand that great love that has found you.

My words were not completed, my thoughts left open in this draft, perhaps until you experience it no words will ever make a difference.  I pray your life will fill with the enduring and endless love of Jesus Christ in your life.

Matthew 18: 21-22

²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  

²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

SEHNSUCHT

SEHNSUCHT: German word with no direct translation to English but its meaning: profound homesickness or longing, with transcendent overtones.

Recently, I have had a longing for home.  Today I read the following in a book called, "The Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller...

"Home, then, is a powerful but elusive concept.  The strong feelings that surround it reveal some deep longing within us for a place that absolutely fits and suits us, where we can be, or perhaps find, our true selves....
...The memory of home seems to be powerfully evoked by certain sights, sounds and even smells.  But they can only arouse a desire they can't fulfil."

I am sure then that my longing for home comes from a desire within me to be in those places and memories that conjure up nice and warm feelings, but I know that I will always find my place in the heart of God no matter where I am.

I SEE YOU

"And remember The truth that once was spoken. To love another person is to see the face of God."
Les Miserables

I think its hard sometimes, to remember that in each person, God resides.  I think I know that fact inside out, and by now I expect that each time I see or speak to a person, I should remember.  And when I do not remember and I act in a way that is not loving and really doesn't reflect the love I should have for the God that created me and gave His only Son for me that I might have life, and life in all its fulness, Is it that I'm unloving? Could be. 

Is it that we cannot recognise the same God that is in each of us, in another? Is it that we cannot recognise God? Is it, that we have distanced ourselves so far from the true nature of God in most of what we do, that we fail to recognise His outpouring of love in our hearts, that we must share and overflow with into the hearts of others. 

I'm really not saying that we are all unloving and all have this flaw.  Most of the time I hope that I am acting in love, and in honour to others.  But I do screw up, and I do forget.

I look at someone and I see them, I don't see God.  I see their weaknesses, I don't see God.  I see someone irritating me, I don't see God. Sometimes I don't see God.  Most of the time I'm too busy in my own thoughts to realise He was right there.

But then at times, I do see, I see God because I see in that persons eyes a love so profound I can't express it in words.  When we step out and love others, and when I say others I mean those people its hard to love.  Those people we have no 'need' to love.  Those people who are really not 'worth' loving.  We realise, that everyone is hard to love, that everyone needs that love and that everyone really is worth loving.  For in everyone there is a God who yearns to be loved by us.  Who longs for us to understand that he is jealous for us when our love turns to other things.

  I hope and pray that I can learn to see God in everyone I meet, and that you do too.  We need to be loved as much as the next person. 

Blessings x



CHRISTMAS is coming the geese are getting fat...

It would appear that many people have started a countdown to Christmas on their facebook pages, or in some way commented about Christmas shopping, Christmas cards or the excitement for Christmas.  I realised that other than reading on facebook Christmas is coming, there is nothing much in Goa to signify to me just yet that Christmas is around the corner.  I don't feel 'Christmassy' but I don't really mind, its refreshing to know that the only thing I am looking forward to this Christmas is seeing my new nephew (Tate) and spending the first Christmas in a long time with all three of my sisters.

 If your ribbons were taken away, and the gifts, and the Christmas tree, and the cards hanging on the wall or the door, would you still feel 'Christmassy'?  I challenge you to think what Christmas is truly about for you.

Christmas is not just that day, Christmas is a celebration of Christ coming into the world, the light of the world.  So yes, celebrate Christmas day, by all means enjoy the food, and the company, and the festivities, enjoy being with family and friends and singing beautiful carols that make your heart feel warm and fuzzy.  But the spirit of giving, the spirit of kindness, the spirit of love to all, let that be celebrated every day of our lives!

The children in our homes have been making Christmas cards for their sponsors, they are so excited to make them, to put their words of love and affection and share something of themselves with the world.  They are not excited about their Christmas gift, or the food or the Christmas tree. They are just excited to give what they can to someone, who, often they have never met.  They do not need gifts and cards at Christmas, but nor do we. They don't need collosal amounts of expensive food and drink, but nor do we. They do not need to spray their windows in fake 'snow', but nor do we.  They do not need to spend a huge amount of money buying the biggest and best Christmas tree, (someone once told me that it doesn't matter how big the Christmas tree is because to a child it is always gigantic).  They don't need any of these things because they have the most precious gift of all, a gift of life and of love.  This may sound super cheesy, but actually its true.  They love to give, and they love to love.  What more do they need.

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. ~Dr. Seuss

If you would like to give a donation to Bethesda Life Centre, Goa for Christmas, perhaps all you have to do is buy one less tin of a Christmas biscuit selection, or one less box of Christmas cards.  Then please contact me: sophiewellbelove@hotmail.com

Every blessing as you prepare for the Christmas season. x

STARFISH

I hope this post makes sense...

Sometimes it is easy to get caught in trying to make a difference that is HUGE, a difference that is measured by the world.  We measure how good we are and have always measured it with numbers and give that value. When we are at school we are measure on how good we are; 1st in the class, top of the class, or bottom of the class.  When we are in a team; who is picked first, top goal scorer, who got the most points.  When we go to work; how many clients we have, how many deals we have won, how many days sock we have taken.  Everything is based on numerical value, and it makes sense, we need to measure things, we need to know.  What strikes me as unecessary is that this has infiltrated into how we measure making a difference.  It has certainly caught me out a few times in my thinking. 

I was reading about when Jesus gave the answer to the question which is the greatest commandment and it struck me that too often we are trying to give levels to things, to numerically value and measure what we do.  To find ourselves, wrong or right, good or bad.  We get caught in the same trap when we live out our lives as a follower of Christ.  Despite knowing that we should love our neighbour, we get moulded into the thinking that to make a difference to the world, we have to do big things.  We do not.  Mother Teresa said something like this, -Jesus did not say we had to love the world, he said we had to love our neighbour, so lets start there. 

"Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, “Which is the first commandment of all?”

Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Mark 13:27-30

I am not saying the world is not important, but it has really struck me that for each of us, the world is not our target audience of people to help, care for and most importantly love.  God gives us each a personal opportunity every single day, to be Christ to someone.  God does not count how many people we do that for, God is more concerned that we are opening a doorway for that person to experience His love and grace.

If we focus on such a big task it is daunting, that we must help and love the whole world, this was never the command.  We must love our neighbour.  So we have to stop measuring ourselves and analysing if we are competent to carry out such a task, and realise that with God in us, His strength, courage, commitment, understanding and HIS LOVE, its not even worth our measuring, because when we allow Him to work in us, things greater than we can even understand will happen.   We too will know a joy that focusing on our particular call will bring, and we will be dancing with God.

This story is a great example of that...

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"
The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."
"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

adapted from The Star Thrower
by Loren Eiseley (1907 - 1977)

BAPTISMS.

The other day 6 of our young people were baptised.  I cannot really express in words how wonderful that evening was, but here are some pictures.

Romans 6: 1-5 (The Message)

So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!

That's what baptism into the life of Jesus means. When we are lowered into the water, it is like the burial of Jesus; when we are raised up out of the water, it is like the resurrection of Jesus. Each of us is raised into a light-filled world by our Father so that we can see where we're going in our new grace-sovereign country.